the same place all people start.
at the begining.
15 years ago i popped out of my mom and have lived under her jurisdiction until now.
until now she doesnt really understand me , except for the types of food i like and how i like to be pampered.
It doesn't really change regarding other people.
Its like [ I'm sorry right here if anybodys offended ] God, just paired up everyone with their soulmate and just forgot me.
its just that gut feeling like nobody is ever going to get you, nobody is ever gonna understand why you're angry, nobody is ever gonna understand how you feel.
I mean, who calls another guy or girl cute in front of their other half after that "cute" preson flirted with them?
and don't tell me thats not flirting, I've been profecient with it, i know how it looks like.
Just gets away with it cause hes smaller lookin so he looks more innocent.
And ok, even if I'm wrong, which by all means, fine, blame me, i won't mind. but i just can't find how im sposed to be fine after you called somebody else cute in front of me.
its like a personal insult, aimed, right at me
and after that you HAVE to tell me go ahead and be like that if i want to.
ok, so fine i will be.
I will be who i am even if it means nobody will ever get who i am.
and its not like its the first time. Its always like this. something happens, i get pissed about it, and you get pissed at me being pissed.
great, now i don't have the right to get pissed any more.
why am i even alive? its liek some sick game somebody up there is playing, giving me hope, taking it away, giving me hope, taking it away, over and over again.
and I'm not getting all worked up. fine, if youw ant me to NOT get worked up then I'll just nvr get worked up abt anything.
Don't ask me why i don't get worked up ever again when that happens.
IF some guy ever irritates you by flirting with you, don't ask me why i don't get worked up.ever.
Its either i DON'T care at ALL. or care WITH my ALL.
you haven't changed at all. and thats fine cause thats who you are.
BUT i guess all of us don't really have that privelage to be accepted as who we are huh.
just go ask around lah, how much freedom you have compared to so many other people.
Go and ask and you'll find so many peopl on short leashes because their other halves are just too damn paranoid.
i relatively so rarely get like this compared to sa many people, which is why when i DO i expect that i be heard and understood.
and each time this happens you say you learn but you never do.
why, am i not worth trying for any more?
I'm already busy this sunday, i can't make it for the dinner.
don't bother calling home, I'll be out and my dropped my phone , so its dead.
Labels: Stuff
